'The problem of you on top of everything else. You above all. Ah — 'cause that's what God is. Horus. Apollo. Jehovah. Kal-El —Clark … Joseph … Kent. See — what we call God depends upon our tribe, Clark Joe. Because God is tribal. God takes sides. … No man in the sky intervened when I was a boy to deliver me from Daddy's fists and abominations — mmnnn — I've figured it out way back, if God is all powerful, he cannot be all good. And if he's all good, then he cannot be all powerful. And neither can you be. They need to see the fraud you are. With their eyes. The blood on your hands.'
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Captain America and Iron Man have at least bickered on screen before, but Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice marks the first time that these title characters (arguably the most famous in comics. Rocket League® - Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Car Pack is currently not available.
Jesus… Jesus Christ, this film… As someone who grew up in the 90's watching Bruce Timm's Batman: the Animated Series & Superman: the Animated Series, I feel I have in my mind & heart an idea of who Batman and Superman are in personality/methods. And oh how I would be wrong as Zack Snyder would illustrate in his GRITTY, DARK, EDGY Random complaint generator. story of how these literary role-models for children murder their way across an oppressively sad film.
If you can divorce yourself from any presumptions or preferences, the film (I saw the extended cut) is somewhat okay. It's still a gloomy nightmare of despair and death, but it isn't a hard movie to watch.
Things that are enjoyable in this movie:
* Jeremy Irons as Alfred is amazing.
* Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne/Batman is pretty good, and him plus Jeremy Irons has me really excited for his own Batman film.
* It has, with no equal, the greatest Batman fight sequence put to film. Except for the parts where he is… killing dudes…
* Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor is oddly satisfying to me. He's this super weird & arrogant nerd, which is in Eisenberg's wheel-house, and his performance is so OVER-THE-TOP that he almost breaks the bleak mood of the film with his eccentric ramblings.
* Everything with Wonder Woman is great. She is presented strong and is a power-house during the last fight sequence.
And that's it for positives.
This is a film where Superman is killing guys and Batman is MURDERING & TORTURING people. This is a film with a nightmare inside a dream that is a time-traveling prophecy thing? It's bullshit… This is a film which features a glass of urine as a central prop in a scene. This is a film for anybody who has ever wanted to see Batman beat the shit out of Superman because he does. Superman gets his shit WRECKED. It's pretty great. Best numbers to play on roulette.
Lastly, and I do have to comment on this, DAMMIT CLARK TURN IN YOUR SPORTS STORY! PERRY HAS A NEWSPAPER TO PUT OUT AND YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE FOR DITCHING THAT SPORTS STORY! FUCK YOU CLARK! DO YOUR JOB!
The Rules
Batman V Superman Dawn Of Justice Game Pc
#1. Take a drink anytime Bruce and/or Clark do something widely out-of-character from their traditional comic personality/history.
#2. Take a drink for every reference to divinity/religion.
#3. Take a drink anytime 'Bat', 'Super', 'Gotham', 'Lex' or 'Metropolis' are said.
#4. IN GROUP SETTINGS! Everyone does a shot of Granny's Peach Tea when it is finally shown.
Batman V Superman Dawn Of Justice Game Review
The Drinks
#1. The Bat: I'm going to copy my recipe from Batman: Under the Red Hood because damn if it isn't a good cocktail for the Dark Knight. 4½ oz. black iced coffee, 2 oz black vodka, & ¼–½ oz. maple syrup.
#2. The Man of Steel: I previously had a cocktail recipe here but it was correctly shown to me that Clark wouldn't have a a cocktail. Clark would order a beer. So yeah, the man of steel will drink a beer of tin. Cheap, cheap beer for Superman.
#3. The Amazon Princess: For an ancient warrior I feel like she needs something classic that everyone respects with strength and durability. And all of that screams Tequila Sunrise to me. 2 oz. tequila, 4 oz. orange Juice, and 3/4 oz. grenadine in a highball glass. Sip it slowly and with grace, you are blessed.
#4. Lex Luthor's Jolly Rancher Upload: This one is easy and creepy because fuck if Lex Luthor isn't a weirdo… A glass of jolly rancher vodka mixed with an appropriate soda mixer to match its flavor/color. E.G. Grape soda with grape jolly-rancher vodka… In addition you have to drop a fresh jolly rancher into the cocktail before serving it, as it needs to slink to your lips/teeth as if Luthor himself is pushing it upon you.
#5. Demon From Above: For the monster known as Doomsday we need something truly monstrous. 1/2 oz. gin, 1/2 oz. vodka, 1/2 oz. Bacardi 151, 1/2 oz. Blue Curacao, 2 oz. sweet and sour mix, and some chilled club soda all in a glass rimmed with salt and a piece of rock candy plopped in the center of it.
#6. Granny's Peach Tea: Peach moonshine, as strong as you can find. For the drinking game above, having a few shots ready for everyone would be prudent.
The Food
For this meal I am going to present an entire meal with the super-heroic trinity in this film. Our appetizer will be a traditional Themyscira opening: sliced apples, grapes, nuts, cherries, plums, grape-fruit, kiwis, ect. You get the idea. LOTS OF FRUITS AND STUFF. For our main entree we're going to go all farm & barn home-boy with Clark, and have a nice country-fried steak. For dessert we'll be dining on mega-dark fudge chocolate cake. This cake needs to be so dark that light couldn't escape it. And if your stomachs have anymore room in them snack on some jolly ranchers and rock-candy.
